The Plot Needs Thickener

So, how's this for a plot.
This guy wakes up, taps the alarm clock before it rings off the third snooze. No word of the day text on his phone yet. He pulls his pants on, fumbles for his glasses, and shuffles into the kitchen. His dog can hardly sit still for the leash to be snapped on. The man grabs a roll of doggie bags and a dim flashlight, and heads outside. Overcast. No stars this morning. A sprinkler drones against a lamppost down the street.

Ok. That's all I could come up with this morning. It's pretty much every weekday morning for me. Except for seeing that UFO. That's not every weekday.

What's that smell?

I accidentally stumbled upon my blog today. I haven't looked at it in so long. Like Chinese take-out at the back of the fridge. It's a bit ripe

It's getting close to autumn, the time of year when I rethink not writing that novel I'll never write again. I've not written about three books. Not-blogging must be a great way to keep not-writing. Even if I don't end up with not-a-book, I can get to know my iPad's auto spell features.

But what to write? I don't have a plot. So, back to whining.

An Islamic center, 10 stories with a mosque, is going to be built near Ground Zero in New York City. If they build that mosque in NYC, they'll be seeping their metric values into our communities, our schools. Islamic countries use the metric system. It's downright unAmerican. Soon, you'll go to the store, and all they'll sell is liters and milligrams. How the heck will I be able to determine what a serving size is? How cold is it when Hell freezes over, in Celsius?

I'm confused how this NYC mosque became an issue. The Freedom of Religion and all. Or, is it only freedom of YOUR religion? Sure, violent extremist Muslims brought down the towers. But, I'm doubting their families are members of the new Islamic center. I read it's a more moderate type of Islam. Not like the type of Christianity that literally crucifies a Wyoming kid for being gay, nor bombing the Olympics because they promote abortion--or however the Christian Identity idiot explained the antimultinationalist voices in his head--nor claiming earthquakes are their god's retribution for the country's "evil" behavior, nor stockpile weapons in their sheds for their god's militia, because the end times are upon us again.

Politicians this past week were all over this nonissue, like spitting brimstone at it would create more jobs. Shoot! Lindsay Lohan is more an issue. She's moving to NYC. She'll be looking for work, like a huge percentage of Americans. Maybe she can get one of those green energy jobs I hear are supposed to be coming 'round. Get some retraining about the weather stripping and insulation blowing industry. That's what her new movie, Inferno, is about. Efficient heating with stripping and blowing. That's what I've heard, anyway. If Lohan can get another job, there is hope for the rest of America!
Anyway, I better get some sleep if I hope to work up a plot to wrap my whining around.