What's that smell?

I accidentally stumbled upon my blog today. I haven't looked at it in so long. Like Chinese take-out at the back of the fridge. It's a bit ripe

It's getting close to autumn, the time of year when I rethink not writing that novel I'll never write again. I've not written about three books. Not-blogging must be a great way to keep not-writing. Even if I don't end up with not-a-book, I can get to know my iPad's auto spell features.

But what to write? I don't have a plot. So, back to whining.

An Islamic center, 10 stories with a mosque, is going to be built near Ground Zero in New York City. If they build that mosque in NYC, they'll be seeping their metric values into our communities, our schools. Islamic countries use the metric system. It's downright unAmerican. Soon, you'll go to the store, and all they'll sell is liters and milligrams. How the heck will I be able to determine what a serving size is? How cold is it when Hell freezes over, in Celsius?

I'm confused how this NYC mosque became an issue. The Freedom of Religion and all. Or, is it only freedom of YOUR religion? Sure, violent extremist Muslims brought down the towers. But, I'm doubting their families are members of the new Islamic center. I read it's a more moderate type of Islam. Not like the type of Christianity that literally crucifies a Wyoming kid for being gay, nor bombing the Olympics because they promote abortion--or however the Christian Identity idiot explained the antimultinationalist voices in his head--nor claiming earthquakes are their god's retribution for the country's "evil" behavior, nor stockpile weapons in their sheds for their god's militia, because the end times are upon us again.

Politicians this past week were all over this nonissue, like spitting brimstone at it would create more jobs. Shoot! Lindsay Lohan is more an issue. She's moving to NYC. She'll be looking for work, like a huge percentage of Americans. Maybe she can get one of those green energy jobs I hear are supposed to be coming 'round. Get some retraining about the weather stripping and insulation blowing industry. That's what her new movie, Inferno, is about. Efficient heating with stripping and blowing. That's what I've heard, anyway. If Lohan can get another job, there is hope for the rest of America!
Anyway, I better get some sleep if I hope to work up a plot to wrap my whining around.

O! Say, can you see O's?

Obama. That's the answer.

The Fed. Gov't should license Obama! Take Obama's name, his head, his logo, and put it on EVERYTHING! Official Obama merchandise!

Wake up to a bowl of Obama-O's! Fortified with vitamins, minerals and hope! Don't think you can eat a whole bowl? Yes you can! And, each box has a free Obama bobblehead inside!

Obama T-shirts, tote-bags, towels. Obama coffee mugs, coin sets, and collector plates. Obama sun screens for cars. Obama teething rings for babies. Obama temporary tattoos for the tweens!

Obama's family sauerkraut recipe. Obama soap-on-a-rope. Obama pajamas!

And, not only does the Fed take the profits and put it toward the national debt, but all this stuff could be American made!

Save the US Auto Industry! Just put Obama's face on the hood of all the models that won't sell!

Obama (TM) is just the thing to get the American economy moving again! Heck-by-golly-gee-willikers! I'm betting all these goods will sell fast over seas! His international appeal is phenomenal! He might even be bigger than John Lennon! Imagine there is no more trade deficit!

Man, I've got to get a message off to Senator Bill Nelson. This could pay for two crappy wars, a bail-out of a corrupt banking system, and two skeins of sock yarn for every man, woman and child in the world! Maybe even some U.S. healthcare thrown in!

Yarn Harlot

She was hilarious. She was poignant. Piquant? Hmmm. I need thesaurus.com. Heck, I need to do some sit-ups (see above).

Anyway, I didn't have anything on my needles to knit for the shindig (seemed a knitting-sin not to), so I grabbed some Cascade 220 Superwash, and some straight number 3s. After I ripped-out the few rows I did at lunch, I started again on my cables. I made a flipping mess, but I learned:

1) I should have drew my very own cable pattern out using pattern symbols on paper first,
2) it sucked when I forced myself to make a cable where 1/2 my brain said it should be, and
3) I had more fun just playing with my impromptu knit/purl pattern.

Which is when I finally got over with my little satori and set my needles down.

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee is a fantastic public speaker, in addition to being an author and knitter. She had me laughing so hard, I almost had an asthma attack. Informative, enlightening, and empowering. (So what if my wife doesn't quite understand why I keep knitting socks?)

And, I didn't know Toronto worshiped skunks! Geez, all the homeowners (i.e., Mr. & Mrs. Pearl-McPhee) have to go through to get rid of a skunk in Toronto! It makes you wonder if Toronto has a skunk temple like the famous rat temple in India. Y'know there'll come a day when Toronto will have to kill the skunks, or the humans will have to flee the city like some sci-fi B movie.

Anyway, buy her book. Read it. Laugh. And, knit something!